By Adam Goldman

In our busy lives, we spend a lot of our time dreaming of another place we’d like to be. Maybe an office worker dreams of being on the golf course, or, maybe an elementary school kid dreams of being at the park. We may not take notice of who our desk mate at school or work is. I believe we should strike up a conversation with them. Moreover, I believe we should get to know them, get to know them as a friend, get to know them as a person.

One year, in school, I was put in a class I wasn’t so pleased with. I didn’t know many of the other children and spent the first week or two dreaming of being in another class and joking around with my old friends. I did this so much that I forgot to take a look around me, see who I was sitting with. And, when I did, when I took the time to chat with the person beside me, my desk-mate, I found a friend. From then on, I laughed with him every day. When an inside joke we had was brought up in class, we would just look at each other and break out into our own internal laughter. Often, it was about the silliest things, but we made each other’s day go by so much faster. Soon, we got to know the other people around us. I became friends with the desk-mate of my desk-mate, and his desk-mate too. That year, I recall, was one of the best years I’ve had in school, and it all started with me just saying a few words to the guy sitting beside me.

I believe in getting to know those around you in the most ordinary situations, not to make small talk, but to make a friend, an ally. We spend so much time in our lives dreaming of being somewhere that we’re not, that we forget to enjoy the real experiences we have. The golf-loving office worker probably doesn’t realize that the people you sit next to are the ones you spend your life with. You, most often, don’t get to choose your deskmate. In school, seating is often assigned. At work, you likely sit at an empty desk and stay there, maybe for a decades-long career. We may as well get to know those who are around us. Whether we like it or not, most of us spend most of our time in the most ordinary situations, whether it be at school or, eventually, a place of work. We may as well enjoy that time, get to know those around us, instead of dreaming of where else we could be.

Looking back at what I thought was a year started by an unfortunate class assignment, is looking back at one of the most simple, enjoyable years of my life to date. I didn’t choose my desk-mates, but I am happy about that. Because, the fact is, I never would have chosen those people, the people who made my year so great. I believe in getting to know the person you don’t think you will get along with, as those are the people who you will not only spend a good portion of your life with, but also might end up being some of your closest friends.

When the office worker looks back on his or her life, they might think to themselves, “I should have spent more time on the course.” Or, if they’re lucky, they might think back on the amazing memories they spent with those around them, those who they never thought would become their closest friends. Sometimes, we forget that the golf course, or the park, or wherever else we dream of being is actually a lot closer than we think. The golf course may be for that office worker a source of peace or escape, but, maybe, they don’t need an escape at all. Maybe, if they took the time to appreciate those around them, they would realize the golf course is right inside their office, maybe at the desk right next to them.

I believe in chatting with your desk-mate. The people we spend our lives with, our desk-mates, or coworkers, or fellow students, or neighbours, are the ones who shape our lives, but, more importantly, they shape who we are. When we look back on life at an old age, we don’t want to think of what we didn’t do; we want to think back on who we have become and why. We want to look at how the people around us, our desk-mates, shaped us as a person for the better. Next time you’re at the office or school, chat with your desk-mate. You may find a lifelong friend, and your future self, looking back at that moment years later, will thank you. This, I believe.