Soccer ball found DEAD on the turf, two boys at the scene of the crime report. Could YOUR ball be next?

By Simon Cox and Josh Tavares-Pitts

Locals were outraged when confronted with the news.

Controversy arose yesterday at 12:37 pm when this horrific scene was revealed to the public. This innocent ball was left, brutally deflated, by the side of the turf. The ball’s loving mother, John Evans, was informed and at the scene within minutes, devastated.

“Dude, that was there since Monday. I just kicked it over to the side of the turf,” said one bystander.

“Who are you, and why are you in my classroom?” asked a teacher.

Hours later, a stranger was spotted wandering the school grounds, bearing the marks of the dreaded “Fed Ex” gang and carrying a package with unreadable names and QR codes. The high authority of the faculty lounge are evaluating the undoubtable relation between these two panic-inducing events as we speak.

Gym teachers have been advised to keep all equipment under strict surveillance at all times.