Photo by Ekaterina Shakharova on Unsplash

By Jack Ujejski

I loved my mom because she would always listen to me quietly, never talking until I finished. She would silently look at me, nodding with each sentence and humming at each point. She did good in life.

Mom proceeded to send me to school. This was a time she did not listen to me. She eventually forced me to attend a small public school a couple blocks from our house. I had a strange birthdate, situated right at the start of the new year, so instead of starting in grade 1, I started in grade 2. Kids were bigger than me. They’d freak me out with their large eyes and tall, lanky bodies. I did not fit in well. After I began school, Mom would always say, “Make sure you pay attention in class today. Okay?” I was always quiet when I was at school. Never talking, only listening. As a result, I didn’t really have many friends. I just found that they took too much effort for something that wouldn’t really help me. I didn’t really need them at the end of the day when I could just spend it with Mom.

I guess I was a little shallow.

****

I had been at school for just over a week now. Something was now missing from the once kind comfort I had felt with Mom. I didn’t always want to share everything with my mom, and Mom wasn’t always up to what I wanted to do. Something just flipped, Mom just didn’t feel right anymore, something was amiss.

Mom wasn’t like me anymore, Mom… I needed someone like me. Not just Mom, but something more.

“Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom,” I mumbled.

“Ughh,” I spat.

The word now felt sour in my mouth, it didn’t have that soft ring to it that was so alluring before.

“Gah!” I whipped my head up, gasping for breath, as I took in my surroundings. I was in my bed.

“Oh. Just a dream,” I whispered nonchalantly.

Not thinking much of it, I leaned back and reclosed my eyes. Tighter this time.

****

“Alright Mom, I’m going out now,” I said.
“Okay. Be home by 11:30. NO later!” yelled back Mom.
“Woah, okay.”

I walked out, closed the door behind me and entered into Maddy’s awaiting car.

“Heyyy, how are you?” Said Maddy.
“I’m good, where are we off to?” I grunted.
“Just to Alex’s, and we’ll see where the night takes us,” she replied, smiling at me.

****

“Mom, I swear I didn’t mean to stay out that long. I lost track of time. I swear,” I begged, but all she did was simply look at me and say “Okay.”

“Okay,” I thought, the absolute worst response to receive from a mom. An “Okay” could mean anything; it signified an all but good, it represented disappointment, a crisp, quick, and ever-lasting word that hurts you for the rest of your life. My stomach churned as the sound finished emitting from her mouth. It wasn’t hurtful or said angrily, but it was spoken with a soft tone, one that showed that you hurt her feelings because you made a stupid, careless mistake.

****

“Yo Mom, is there any juice in the basement?” I yelled to my mom coming down the stairs. “There doesn’t seem to be any in the fridge.”

“I don’t know buddy, go look for yourself,” Mom said back.

“Oh, okay then,” I whispered, worried at the tone I had just received from her.

****

“Hey u coming out tonight?” Questioned Maddy.
“Uhh, lemme check wit the mom,” I tapped back.

Damnit. Why’d I say that? I knew Mom wouldn’t let me. Was it worth a shot? Eh, whatever.

The stair set felt abnormally small as I tip-toed myself down towards the kitchen. It was quiet in the kitchen, yet as I turned that last corner to the back door: there she was standing, a glass of white wine swirling around in her hand.

“Man, I’m hungry… Oh, heyy Mom. What are you doing up so late?” It was a basic excuse but it was the only one I had.
“Back to your room,” she said, flatly.
“But I…” I responded.

She didn’t even have to say anything as she simply glared at me with a face that couldn’t even be described.

“Fine.” “Screw you,” I muttered under my breath.

****

Ding. Oh, damnit! Forgot to tell her.
“Where r u?” texted Maddy.
“I can’t come.”
“I thought u wouldve at least txtd me.”
“I said I’d check if I could come. Plans change. Deal wit it,” I responded.
“Oh.”
“Sorry, that was harsh. I’m sorry I can’t come.”

She didn’t text back.

****

It was morning. I felt groggy, curious and pissed all at the same time. The dreams didn’t feel like dreams; it was just simply two different me’s. Like I had just been transported into a body where I was too crazed about social life and a body where I was deprived of all social life.

“The cereal is gonna turn into porridge at the rate you’re eating it, bud.”
“Huh-oh, whoops. Morning’ Dad. How’d you sleep?” I spoke.
“Great! That pillow you gave me just does wonders for my back. I got a great sleep. Seriously amazing,” responded Dad.
“That’s good, I am glad you like it,” I said. “Where’s Mom by the way – she still sleeping?”
“Duh. It’s the weekend.”
“Ok, I’ll go say hi soon.”

Man, I love cereal. The crunch and savoury sweetness just make me want to invent new words to describe it. It is such a simple food, only requiring a cold 2% milk and a box of granola will easily enhance anyone’s day. The dread and slight confusion just felt as if they washed over and right out of me as I ate my last spoonful. I am so happy I love cereal.

The cereal made me want to share my love, so I texted Maddy.

“Hey, Maddy, just know I love you very much,” I texted her.
“Hey, Mom, just know I love you very much,” I spoke to her.
“Me too, me too, me too,” they said back.